I am a Mommy!

I have never felt this loved before. It's a different kind of love. Of course, there is the undying love and affection that my husband, TK, will always give me. But, this is a different one. Beau loves me more than anything. And I can feel his love every second. It's amazing. He would rather me hold him, me feed him, me put him to sleep, me bathe him, "me" do everything. Of course this gets very tiring, but at the same time, I wouldn't have it any other way. It may be selfish of me to think like this, but who cares. I am a first time mommy and I am enjoying every minute of this love as much as possible. I know the day will come when my little love bug is a teenager and I have no idea what he will be like then...so I think I will just soak up as much as I can right now!

On A Lighter Note...

I was torn between BYU and OU yesterday. I have always been a Sooner fan but since living in Utah I have grown to love BYU as well. Considering my in-laws are obsessed as well as my husband. (with BYU that is) For those of you that don't know, they kicked off the season yesterday playing each other. Crazy! I decided I didn't mind if Oklahoma won, but I would be way stoked if BYU beat Oklahoma. So I rooted for BYU. They were for sure the under dogs and were not expected to give much of a game to OU. So when they won (GO COUGARS!) it was amazing!! TK and his dad Jerry are gone hunting this weekend, so Jody and Beau and myself hung out here and watched the game. I took a nap during the game, I just got out of the hospital, but woke to BYU just one touch down away from winning. I was surprised by my excitment when they won. Again I am a Oklahoma fan as well. Longer than I have liked BYU. So, I now know that I am, for sure, a BYU fan. More so than I am a Sooner fan. It's official. I still can't believe they won! Whoo Hoo!! GOOOOOOO COUGARS!!!!

As Long As I Live To Tell My Story...No Matter How Hard It Might Be

I want to make this as short and informative as possible. Not sure if I can. Beau finally came home. He has done really well and I am so relieved he is home. On the flip side...I started to feel really sick a few days after he came home. I just assumed I was tired and weak from all the craziness going on. I started to run a fever. My OB doc called in some meds for me and that day my left breast got very swollen, hard, red and just painful. I knew then I was getting that mastitis. (Breast infection caused from breast feeding) This is a very common thing to get and many women have gotten it. My sister always gets it. The symptoms are swollen, red, painful breasts, both or just one, and usually a fever. Well my fever got to 104 so I had to go to the ER. I had been throwing up all day and just miserable. So TK made me go in. I had never been this sick before and wasn't even sure if I could make it to the hospital. That's when TK knew I needed to go. They gave me an IV with fluids and anitbiotics and some pain meds. I don't know how long we were there. I was so sick I couldn't really respond to anyone or anything. This was on Friday August 28th. They let me go home that night, but made me keep my IV in and I had to go back to the ER Saturday and Sunday for meds through my IV. Then follow up with my doc on Monday. So Monday came and my docotor started me on oral antibiotics but made me continue to go to the ER for the meds in my IV. And I had to follow up with him again on Wednesday the 2nd. I somehow still felt sick even though I had medicine through my IV for 5 days. When I went to my follow up appointment Wednesday my fever was back up to 101 and both of my breasts were infected. It had only been my left side this whole time. So, I obviously wasn't getting better and was actually getting worse. My doctor then hit me with a bomb. He told me I had to be hosptialized. I barely got my baby home and feeling better and I have just had so much going on and this to me was probably the worse thing that could happen to me at this time. I had the worse case of mastitis that my doctor had ever seen. I then started to feel sorry for myself. I've been going and doing and just been so tired for so long that this sent me over the edge, finally. You should never feel sorry for yourself, but I did. So Wednesday the 2nd I was admitted in the Jordan Valley Hospital. They hooked me up to an IV with fluids and a super strong antibiotic. I was let go Saturday the 5th in the afternoon. TK was working in Reno this past week and I for the first time asked him to please leave work and come home. I couldn't do it anymore. I have been blessed with the best mother and father-in-law that one can have. My mother-in-law, Jody, jumped at the opportunity to take care of my sweet baby. I never felt like a burden to her. I feel like we already live in their home and the last thing I wanted was to have her put her life on hold because I am sick. She so lovingly and willingly took care of Beau while I was in the hospital. TK did make it home late, the day they admitted me, and was able to help out with me and Beau. It was so hard being away from Beau those few days. TK brought him up to see me for an hour each day, but it was never enough. I feel like he grew so much in just a few days. Thank you for all your prayers. I hope this is finally it. I don't know how much more I can handle. I hope to take my antibiotics and be done. And I hope Beau is well too. My doc pulled the plug on breast feeding cause I was just too sick and we didn't know if my body could handle it if the fevers and throwing up came back. My life is crazy. I've been told having babies is usually not this hard. It's not easy but definately not like it has been for me and Beau. Beau might be an only child!